Adopted children have often experienced severe and complex levels of trauma and loss early on in life. This can include a combination of neglect, abuse, a chaotic and dysfunctional family system and multiple caregivers; all of which can have a significant impact on their emotional and mental health, and lead to complex and challenging behavioural problems.
In this talk, therapist and trainer Graham Kennedy (an adoptive father himself) discusses the principles of Therapeutic Parenting, an attachment and trauma focused approach designed to help adopted children develop a sense of safety and security. Through consistent, empathic, insightful connected responses to a child’s distress and behaviours, the parent allows the child to begin to self-regulate and ultimately form secure attachments.
Introduction to Therapeutic Parenting
Graham Kennedy introduces therapeutic parenting as a trauma-informed approach, distinct from traditional parenting methods. It focuses on understanding and addressing the complex trauma histories and attachment issues of adopted children.
Personal Journey and Professional Background
Graham shares his personal journey of adopting two children and his professional background in craniosacral therapy and child psychotherapy, which informed his approach to therapeutic parenting.
Challenges of Adoption
The talk highlights the unique challenges faced by adoptive parents, including dealing with extreme levels of dysregulation and the need for specialised parenting techniques.
Importance of Relationship Over Behaviour
Graham emphasises the importance of focusing on building a relationship with the child before addressing behavioural issues, a core principle of therapeutic parenting.
Attachment Styles and Challenges
The conversation covers various attachment styles observed in adopted children, including disorganised attachment and controlling behaviours stemming from a lack of trust.
Building Trust and Safety
Graham explains the long-term process of building trust and safety with adopted children, emphasising the need for consistency and understanding.
Parental Presence and Engagement
The concept of parental presence is discussed, highlighting the need for a balanced engagement that is neither too much nor too little.
Support for Parents
Graham stresses the importance of supporting parents through education and resources, noting that parents need to understand trauma and its effects on their children.
Challenges in the Adoption System
The talk touches on the systemic challenges within the adoption process, including funding issues and the need for better support for adoptive families.
Importance of Early Intervention
Graham advocates for early intervention and support programs to help families stay together and prevent the need for adoption.
Role of Schools in Therapeutic Parenting
The conversation highlights the crucial role of schools in supporting therapeutic parenting and the need for trauma-informed training in educational settings.
Long-Term Commitment
The talk concludes with a reminder that therapeutic parenting is a long-term commitment requiring patience, understanding, and consistent effort.
